I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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