I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
