I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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