Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
ugly people sure do ruin things
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
