the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
