i don't like sucking hair
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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