You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
