New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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