the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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