I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
