Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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