thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
