I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
foreskin is a definite game changer
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize
