Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
