then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
