My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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