Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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