Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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