So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
