I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
