Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
wow bdsm is so cute
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
