How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
