im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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