If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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