He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
