After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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