he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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