I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
