Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
