I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
