Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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