He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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