I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
