is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
