omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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