i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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