when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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