Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
