she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
