were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I have post one night stand depression
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