yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
