She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
