did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
