If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
