so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
