2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
