Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
there is puke in my bra ... again
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