Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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