i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I don't think brook has ever known best
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just high enough for therapy.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
