there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
